Freddy Caven (center) with Ramapo head coach Evan Baumgarten and assistant Brian Winiarski. (not pictured: Frank Rocchio).
FRANKLIN LAKES -- It’s easy to get lost in the pace of a high school sports season. Between training, game days, homework and so many other responsibilities competing for time, it can all go by in a blur. That is why one moment of clarity, of compassion, of understanding is worth highlighting even more than one week after it happened.
In the midst of another season of high expectations and steadily building success for the Ramapo boys soccer program, assistant coach Freddy Cavin was going through it.
Cavin is a volunteer coach, a “soccer guy,” who shows up when he can for no other reason than to share his love of the game with student-athletes who are already bought in. Cavin loves the gig, so when he showed up to practice one day looking a little rough and about to make an early exit, the rest of the tight-knit Ramapo boys soccer program took notice.
“I came in and I looked disheveled and Coach [Evan Baumgarten] actually stopped practice. I will let him tell you what he said, but next thing you know, and unprompted the kids just started clapping,” said Cavin, retelling the story. “I forget who, but it was two or three people that said, ‘Let’s give him a team hug.’ We have 26 or 27 kids on the team and they all put me in the middle of a circle. I kind of just started crying and then it was ‘Family on 3, 1-2-3 Family.’ I get chills thinking about it.”
So, here is the backstory…
The oldest of Freddy Cavin’s three children is Rory, a 14-year old who was born with renal dysplasia, a chronic kidney disease that required a transplant when Rory was just two years of age. The donor back then in 2013 was Rory’s uncle Kyle Roeder, Freddy Cavin’s brother-in-law, and a member of the Ramapo High School Athletic Hall of Fame. A transplanted kidney has a shelf life and Rory will soon need another one. His mother, Kelly, also a former Ramapo High School athlete, is not a match for her son, but she recently donated a kidney to another grateful recipient, which moves Rory up the list. In the meantime, Rory requires dialysis nightly.
With all of this going in the Cavin house and with Rory’s two other siblings, Maeve and Casey involved in the many activities of 12 and 9 year olds, there is little downtime in the Cavin household nowadays.
That is why Freddy Cavin needed a hug.
“We love every single person on this team and that includes our coaches. Being there for each other is one of the most important things that we value here at Ramapo,” said senior Brody Benner. “That day that we gave him the hug, when we showed him the empathy and the love, that means more than soccer, that means more than anything. Some people need that on some days.”
Coaches, educators and mentors, the good ones at least, spend seasons and careers trying to teach life lessons in practical ways without preaching. Baumgarten has been the head soccer coach at Ramapo for 40 years and has consistently tried to connect high school soccer to real world growth. He is the creator of ‘27 Hours,’ a preseason tradition in which his team spends 27 straight hours together outside under the tutelage of Lloyd Osafo, a Ramapo alum and Army veteran.
While conducting the interview for this story, Baumgarten was in the middle of putting his players through another physical challenge with a mental component. The Raiders had 30 minutes to run three miles in 18 minutes. In other words, his players had to use math and the knowledge of their own capabilities along with those of their teammates to decide how to balance rest with the need to cover ground.
Baumgarten is always trying to put his players forward and has a resume filled with county, state and league titles. None of them mean more than a random act of kindness that was initiated by his team organically not through instruction.
“For me it is just about going over different life scenarios every day that, hopefully, they take with them,” said Baumgarten. “The standard is high and we challenge them all the time, not just on the field, more so off the field.”
Cavin has been put to the test and is now a beneficiary of the lessons that have sunk in so deeply.
“I say it to the boys all the time, this is more than a soccer team. Everybody has their stuff that goes on at home, everybody has their own internal problems that they deal with,” said Jordan Hunt, a senior who scored the winning goal in last season’s Bergen County championship game. “As seniors, as a team it is our job to make this a comfortable space for everybody, so I feel like it can’t get past us as teammates. Coach [Cavin] is going through a tough time right now and it is a time in his life where he needs support. We are here for him.”
Junior Anthony Bono has connection to the Cavin family. His mother is best friends with Kelly Cavin’s sister, so he struck up an instant bond with Freddy Cavin when he came aboard as an assistant coach last season.
“Right away we kicked off with a good relationship. He helps me out a lot, he gives me good perspectives on and off the field and I think he has been a really good mentor,” said Bono. “He is a big asset to this team and to me, personally. In a way we are playing this season for him and his family and I think that has really brought us together as a team.”
It’s not a motto on a T-shirt nor is it a verbal rallying cry. It’s more of just like a, ‘Hey, Coach...we got you,’ kind of vibe. It’s small things like a group hug in the middle of a practice and then back to work.
“The thing that I respect the most about Coach Cavin is that no matter what he is going through, he doesn’t talk about it a lot, he keeps it internal, but he always shows up,” said Zach Zarzar, another of the 17 seniors on the Ramapo roster. “He’s a very consistent human being. He is a quiet presence, but a strong presence and he always has a smile on his face. This is his happy place and for us that is such a good feeling. We appreciate him beyond belief.”
Ramapo is in the midst of another successful season. After a 5-0 win over Fair Lawn on Friday, the Raiders are 7-1 on the season and will be one of the top couple of seeds in the upcoming Bergen County Tournament. Success on the field and growth off of it work hand and hand.
“I have known the people for just about my entire life and I think it is hard to find a team that has bonded this well. Some of these guys got into soccer not just because of love for the sport, but because of the family and the fun we have. That is a bit unusual,” said junior Jacob Preziosi. “Most of this team is seniors, they are the leaders so now everything we do we do it like it might be the last time.”
There is a sense of urgency, there always is in high school sports because the countdown to graduation never stops.
There is also a sense of urgency inside the Cavin family. Rory needs a second kidney transplant and is waiting for a donor.
“We are waiting everyday to get a phone call from CHOP, the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. It’s the greatest hospital on the planet and that team has been incredible in supporting us as a family,” said Cavin. “We are hoping tomorrow or the next day that we get a phone call and after that happens it is about a two to three week scheduling process and then Rory could have kidney by the middle of October. It could happen that fast, it could be six months from now and there is an outside chance that it never happens. That is where we are at right now.”
There is so much more to the Cavin family story than can be put on this page and there are ways follow along and even get in the game.
Here is more on how you can help not just Rory and the Cavin Family, but also other families in similar circumstances: One of Kelly and Freddy’s initiatives is to raise funds for the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Transplant Program that has cared for Rory since diagnosis, through his first transplant and for his transplant to come. If you’d like to support Kelly, Rory and family, you can learn more and DONATE HERE, or check out their t-shirt campaign and “Be a Rock for Rory.” You can also follow their journey on instagram at: @be.a.rock.for.rory
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